Is this what normal feels like? This calm. This ease with which she sits on the bench by the river. The water is twinkling at her as it passes. The sun is warm, maybe too warm..no..just right. Glad she ditched the leggings in favor of the short floral skirt, the warmth of the rare sunny day heats her thighs. There's just a hint of a breeze. It whispers against her legs and neck. This could go on forever she thinks to herself, and it would be wonderful.
The town is busy around her. Workmen are standing by a van just behind and to the left of where she relaxes. Clair steals a glance..casually, and turns her attention back to the hypnotic sights and sounds of the moving water. A father and young son come past the bench from the car park and stand talking just over the path on the bank of the river. They talk, only feet away. She doesn't listen. The water still has her. The dreamy day still holds her in its arms.
She looks down at her breasts pushed against the tight deep hued pink top. Her tanned legs crossed. Thighs smooth, and ever warming. Smiling at how cute her flowery decorated sandals look on her feet. She glows..content at this world view. Effortlessly she reaches to her handbag and gathers a cigarette, makes a mental note to be feminine when she lights it. Inhales and relaxes back, left arm wrapped just under her breasts, right arm against her side, hand up and bent back at the wrist, daintily holding the stick of burning tobacco. She flicks her hair lightly and watches the world go by.
Two Mothers pushing prams come past along the path. Both in leggings, comfy loose summer tops and functional shoes. The workmen move from their van along behind the bench towards a tree yards to her right. She wonders what they are going to do over there, but doesn't really care. A young couple walk by. Everyone is at ease. She feels this in herself. Relishes it. Soaks up the feeling like she is with the sun rays. In these moments, her ever churning mind is quietened. The cogs no longer whirring at a thousand miles per hour. A rare peace of mind. A tantalizing glimpse of a future not yet realized. She could cry with happiness. Her Soul does cartwheels on the grass and life flickers alive in her eyes.
All around the activity continues. The Man and his son are long gone. Buses come and go on the main road. Cars enter and leave in the car park behind her bench. It's all a distant hubbub. So near to her blonde slim frame, but distant in her thoughts. She picks up her phone in a conscious attempt to look like she is checking the time, as if she were waiting for someone. But no-one is coming. It's just a ruse for any casual observer. To give reason to why she is here. As if just sitting here enjoying the sun is not enough. She puts the phone away and laughs at herself internally. Isn't that what girls do? Subliminally translating to anyone who may be silently wondering about this blonde girl on the bench. Why is she here? Is she meeting someone? Killing time before a friend appears and they go off laughing together. She secretly wishes this were so. The water flickers on.
Time has flowed by. She has no idea how long she has been here in this dream. It's only dreamlike because it's new. The sense of unreality accentuated by the dappled light on the waters surface, and the soothing sound it makes as it bubbles past. No clouds have interrupted the continuous ever changing light show. She cares not for the sweat forming down her spine, or that the bench back is slightly hard and uncomfortably low. These physical feelings just tell her that she is actually here. Present. In the moment. Reminders that this dream is actually happening.
No-one looks as they pass by. Her presence has caused no ripples in the reality of another. Just a girl on a bench by the river, enjoying the day...enjoying the peace in her heart. Is this what normal feels like?
